Is it really okay?
by DemonicGleam
Summary: Is Ianto really okay with knowing almost nothing about Jack? Rated T just to be safe! First fic ever, woo! Ianto's POV


**Hey! This is my very first fic ever, so please review I am pretty sure I can handle some criticism...maybe. :) -Thanks for giving this a read-  
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**Disclaimer : I own nothing.  
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"Who are you?" the girl on the screen screams loudly and it hurts my ears "I don't know anything about you!" it's not so much of a scream as it is a shriek "You are nobody to me, NOBODY!" I slowly cover my left ear which received the most of the blast. Though I wince as she yells, the scene is utterly captivating. Halfway through the movie and I have yet to tear my eyes from the screen. She's silently crying now, repeating in barely a whisper "nobody" as the man who got yelled at comes around and envelops her in what seems like a reassuring hug. I can faintly hear the sounds of some of the audience members crying and I shift uncomfortably in my seat. I tell myself that this is the last time I let Jack pick a movie for our date. I like the movie and all, but I suppose two grown men coming together to see a "chick-flick" amidst a sea of teenage couples is quite the sight. I glance away from the screen over to Jack, he's silently staring at the screen but I notice that his eyebrows are slightly dipped downwards and his lips are pulled into what seems like a frown. I turn back to the screen wondering if he finds the movie bad, though I know better. Obviously something's bothering him so I make a mental note to bring it up later.

We walk out of the movie together and I try not to picture what it looks like. Girls hanging off their boyfriends arms, leaning on their sides fingers entwined and…us. I at least give myself a pat on the back for convincing Jack to wear something other then his cape, oh, I mean coat. We wordlessly leave the theater into the chilling night and I'm surprised that Jack hasn't made a single comment about the sex scene near the end of the movie. That reminds me of his bothered face and as we walk and I think of a way to bring it up. I glance over to him and he's just staring at the ground, I can tell he's contemplating something and decide to remain silent, letting him mull over whatever it is. A sharp gust of wind breaks through my jacket sending shivers down my spine and I suddenly regret that I suggested that we walk to the theater instead of taking our SUV. Its feels slightly discomforting in this silence, the only sound is of the gravel crunching underneath our feet as we walk. I'm at a loss of what to do, should I strike up a conversation, ask him if he's okay or just say nothing? As I'm pondering what I should do, Jack finally speaks up, though if I were a less attentive person I would've probably missed it.

"Is it really okay?" it's just above a whisper and I barely catch it, but in the silence that we walk, the sound of crunching gravel is not enough to drown it out.

I consider for a second what he could be referring to and not finding anything I ask "is what okay?"

He let's out a sigh and I feel myself get nervous. The uncertainty in his voice isn't like him.

"This," he says as if that sufficiently explains everything "us" he concludes.

I don't know what he means and am unsure about how to respond. "Us?" I say lamely.

"Yes, us" his voice picks up "I mean, you don't know anything about me, nothing about my past except some snippets here and there," his voice sounds faintly constrained "and you don't even ask".

I process what he says and despite immaturely finding the word snippet vaguely humorous take what he says very seriously. I'm even absurdly happy that he can become this vulnerable around me. Realization dawns on me as to his concerned face earlier. I can piece together how the movie scene brought him to this. Being confronted by this so suddenly makes me wonder if not knowing about him really is okay. Firstly, it is true that I know less then nothing about Jack, besides a few glimpses into his past that he's offered me. Second, I do never bring it up and it's not that it hasn't crossed my mind. I just don't desperately feel the need to pry open Jack's past like the rest of the team. I'm contemplating reasons in my head and soon find myself wording them out.

"You know," I begin, staring straight ahead as we walk "it really is okay, and I don't ask because," I take a deep breath, unsure of where this is going "maybe because, I know that your past is full of pain, hurt and dark moments. Maybe because I know that the bad moments overshadow the good ones and I think I don't have the right to make you relive that again. Maybe because I've had to relive my past and felt the pain again is why I don't feel the incessant need to make you relive yours." I hesitantly reach down and entwine my fingers with his. "And, I know it's okay because I'll wait until your ready to share it with me and I know that I would happily spend the rest of my life finding out" I give his hand a gentle squeeze and am silently thankful that the night is so dark that he won't be able to see exactly how red my cheeks have gotten.

He slowly comes to a stop and turns me to face him. He reaches up and traces my jaw line, thumbing my bottom lip. He leans in and I feel my heart trying to escape my chest. He stops just a few millimeters from me and I feel his warm breath cascade over my lips. "Thank you" he says before gently kissing me. I can tell in the way he kisses me that he is earnestly thankful as well as what I think is reassured.

He pulls back and even in the dark I can clearly make out the intensity of his blue eyes. I'm nervous, breathless and probably as a red as a tomato. I can see the corners of his lips pull up into his usual cocky, selfish, dazzling smile as he leans over to whisper something into my ear. "When we get back to the Hub, I am making a mess out of you" his breath snakes across my ear and causes me to shiver involuntarily. He nuzzles my neck and bites my earlobe teasingly before turning away and continuing down the street, pulling me along on wobbly legs.

As I catch up to him, I fervently hope that no one is working late shift at the Hub tonight.


End file.
